Wednesday, September 15, 2010


One thing I remember as vividly as anything about the days of my youth was the experience of being a girlfriend. To girls, I mean. Now I only had a vague conception of what was really going on at the time, I mean I knew I was a girl inside but I only somewhat grasped that what made it so easy for girls I knew to befriend me and talk to me was the "girlness" about the way I thought and communicated.

In the days before I was so obsessed with beating this thing and being rid of it, I was, looking back, much less skilled at faking "being a guy" on that level. I just assumed that "I thought the way I thought" more so than recognizing a gendercentric "flavoring" to it.

Oh there were guys I was close to, of course. It would have been pretty unthinkable to avoid all male interaction, even for a girl. But they were, as guys tend to be, all very surface and superficial in content. Guys never talk about how they FEEL except under duress. But with my girlfriends it was different, there was a connection. From high school all through my young adult years, there was always at least one girl and often several that - had my plumbing been right - I'd have been doing sleepovers with and painting each others nails.

I've missed that over the time since, though on occasion there revives a taste of it. It's one of the more pleasant aspects of transition - getting back in touch with that part of womanhood. One of the most precious parts of the last year is the several girlfriends I've discovered since I came out. some very old friends from high school, some I only casually knew before and some I only just met in the last year.

If there was anything in life I was ever good at it was being the listening ear, the sympathetic voice, the crying shoulder if need be to girls who were my close friends and now, while sometimes it's me doing the crying, it's wonderful to have those conversations again.

Those of you I count as my girlfriends, please know that you have done more than you can know to help me down this road, just by being that alone - every girl needs her best girlfriends and I'm glad to know I have some.


  1. What womanhood more like manhood face it you're a MAN a father and a husband.i'm sorry but you made your decision to be a father and husband so live it.

    girlfriends and womanhood give me a break.from where i'm looking there no woman here.what I see is a man.

  2. Why must you do this?

    You ask me not to talk about you so I try to find other things to write about and still you have to get on here and repeat the same things you've said privately and publicly over and over - what good does that do either of us?

    you KNOW before you come here I'm not going to post anything you agree with, and everyone who reads this thing knows what you think - so what's the upside in all this? if you don't agree with it and don't like it, don't read it.

    I've tried to always be open with you but sometimes I regret you ever knew about this blog. In any case, you have said your peace, several times. This comment serves no purpose but spite.

  3. Marie...aquaint yourself with the terms of service of Blogger....


    Blogger strongly believes in freedom of speech. We believe that having a variety of perspectives is an important part of what makes blogs such an exciting and diverse medium. With that said, there are certain types of content that are not allowed on Blogger. While Blogger values and safeguards political and social commentary, material that promotes hatred toward groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity is not allowed on Blogger.


    Some of us get quite disgusted at your expressions of hatred towards the gender identity issues discussed here.

    Someday, someone may report it.

  4. Leave Marie alone...she must have her say...blogger or what ever ya want to call it....She has a right to her say...How much do you and yr friends want her to take...she is a woman with feelings and emotions....You made her a wife and a mother ....NOW what is she to do...Really do reality....she made her choice.....Gerry live with it and your decision yrs ago with yr vows...think about this long and hard.